Bottom Line Jokes V
Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Archives
You know you're living in 2013 when...
1. You accidentally
enter your password on the microwave.
2. You have a list of
15 phone numbers to reach your
family of three.
3. It's dark
when you drive to and
from work, even in the summer.
4. Every
week another brown collection envelope comes round because someone
you didn't know had started
is leaving
5. The
most work experienced person gets a brand-new state-of-the-art
laptop with all the features, while
you have time to go for
lunch while yours powers up.
6. Your relatives and family describe
your job as "works with computers"
7. The
only reason you recognise your
kids is because
their pictures are on your desk
8. Free
food left over from meetings
is your staple diet
9. Your supervisor
doesn't have the ability to
do your job
10. There's no
money in the budget for the
five permanent staff your department is short of,
but they can afford four full-time
management consultants advising your boss's
boss on strategy.
11. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
12. Contractors outnumber
permanent staff and are more likely
to get long-service
awards.
13. You wonder who's going to
be left to
put into your 'leaving' collection
14. You see a good looking, smart person and you
know it must be a visitor
15. Your biggest
loss from a system crash is
that you lose all your best jokes
16. You really get excited about
a 1.7% pay rise
17. You learn about your redundancy
on the 9 o'clock news
18. Your company
welcome sign is attached with
velcro
19. You e-mail your mate who
works at the desk next
to you
20. You know exactly how many
days you've got left until
you retire.
21. Your boss's
favourite lines are:
- When you've got a few minutes..
- Could you fit this in in your
spare time..
- When you're freed up..
- I know you're busy but..
- I have an opportunity for you..
22. Board
members salaries are higher than
all the Third World countries annual
budgets combined.
23. Being sick is
defined as you can't walk
or you're in hospital
24. Your CV is
accessible from everywhere
25. Holiday
is something you roll over to
next year or a cheque you
get in January
26. Your reason
for not staying in touch with friends
is that they
do not have e-mail addresses.
27. When you
go home after a long day at
work you still answer the phone
in a business manner.
28. When you
make phone calls from home,
you accidentally insert a "0" to get an outside line.
29. You've sat
at the same desk for four
years and worked for three
different companies
30. Interviewees, despite
not having the relevant knowledge or experience,
terminate the interview when told of
the starting salary.
31. You read this entire list , kept
nodding and you understood it.
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